I have no sense of “normal” when it comes to blogging. Some days I shoot for “a blog a day” and then when reality strikes, I’m lucky to make “a blog a week”. When things get REALLY interesting? Sayonara blogo.
Do you ever have a week where you can’t help but laugh? And suddenly it’s a cry? Then a stomach ache? Then a great desire for complete solitude and few Snow Patrol songs?
Let’s just say this past week?… it made the cut.
When this sort of thing happens, I take a mental vacation.
If I were to put my mental state into a seven step recovery program, it would go like this:
STEP ONE: Put a big fat kabosh on Facebook
Honestly, who really cares if someone is going to a concert, dressing their kids up in weird outfits or doesn’t like the current state of their living condition? If you want REAL entertainment or status updates, read the wall of a college bathroom.
STEP TWO: Indulge in reality TV shows
I suppose I get gratification in the fact that I never dated a man who was simultaneously dating 8 other women while being videotaped in swimming suits worn on foreign territory.
OR maybe it’s the joy I get from realizing that my ability to hoard copious amounts of recyclable objects for the sake of educational “projects” hasn’t landed me a spot on TLC.
OR maybe it’s the fact that I can eat a T-Bone steak while watching people do jumping jacks for Jillian Michaels.
STEP THREE: Do something out of the ordinary
For me, this happened through a Thai cooking class that I registered for at college. The odd part? It wasn’t actually a “cooking” class but an educational blurb on Thai Culture. The best part was the endearing Thai instructor asking what I ate for dinner last night, only to mistake my reply “I didn’t eat last night, I just came here” for the phrase, “I didn’t cheat last night, I just drank beer”… what’s not to like there, eh?
PS. I ate Thai snacks while watching a documentary on the history of rice and coconut. Win win.
STEP FOUR: Zone out to various things on the internet
I recommend YouTube web series episodes, health websites to make sure that your insides aren’t going to fall out because you ate cheese that sat in your purse for 24 hours or browsing rental options on Netflix only to realize that you wouldn’t make it through an entire movie without falling asleep.
STEP FIVE: Look at family photos
Be prepared that you might suddenly realize that the length of time that gaps laughing with loved ones to the current day is obnoxiously long… that you haven’t seen your family in weeks or months because somehow the days have flown by, filled with all kinds of “stuff”. You WILL get sad (unless of course you dislike your family, in which this time is a cause for celebration… you can move straight through to “joy week”).
STEP SIX: I laminate things
I create things and I laminate them. Something about your ideas being sealed up in a thermal pouch, will give you comfort.
STEP SEVEN: Eat, Drink and Be Married (if the latter is non applicable, you will find satisfaction in the eating & drinking portion, alone)
Baked Items, Buttered Items, Alcoholic Items, Chocolate Dairy Items… all beneficial to accomplish this step. Oh… and it’s really nice to enjoy these things with your spouse who lovingly kneads the knots out of your shoulder blades as you house a family of stress there.
I plan on this week being a whole lot better.
I plan for this week to include massive amounts of productivity with a few stops into the world of Social Networking.
PERHAPS… instead of devouring hunks of red meat, I’ll do some jumping jacks of my very own…
JUST MAYBE, I will actually see my tribe (aka my big ol’ family) and laugh (this generally includes weird songs, strange dance moves and poop jokes).
OVERALL… I will rejoice in the mere fact that mercy and grace just happen to renew themselves on a regular basis... Happy Monday.
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